26 things you’ll be all too familiar with if you’re doing Dry January

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Ahh, Dry January. Those two little words you’ve been dreading since 31 December rolled around. You’ve been talking the big talk all month, but now you have to give up your beloved glass of red for a whole 31 days and the regret is real. Time to lock up the booze and tell everyone who will listen…

It’s going to be a rollercoaster – here’s 26 things to expect…

1. It’s New Year’s Day, you’re hungover AF and an alcohol free month actually sounds pretty appealing right now. You got this, girl.

2. You do not I repeat do not even fancy a teeny tiny glass of wine. Not even a little bit. 

3. And actually,  Diet Coke is downright delicious *adds 2x 10 pack to basket*

4. When people ask you how it’s going: “Oh, it’s a total breeze, I’d actually forgotten alcohol was even a thing lol” 

5. And you do feel pretty great. You’re sleeping better, making those early morning spin classes and fitting into your ‘only fit me after food poisoning’ jeans. Fist pump.

6. You can’t stop repeating the above to anyone who will listen. It’s coming up again, like word vomit…

7. Socialising is becoming a little tricky. You find yourself lying to friends to avoid plans.

8. You decide to take up cooking.

9. But soon realise cooking is boring without wine.

10. Everyone keeps going to the pub.

11. When you suggest crazy golf or bowling instead, people look at you like you’ve just dribbled on your shirt.

12. You organise a cinema trip, then arrive only to find people have already ordered wine. Damn you, Everyman.

13. Two weeks in, you hit an all time low. 

14. You’re tempted to quit. All your friends keep trying to get you to quit…

15. So you vow not to quit.

16. You realise drunk people repeat themselves. Alot. SUPER annoying. Were you this annoying?

17. You succumb to the fact that you’re going to be staying in alone a lot this month. And you’re actually fine about it.

18. *Goes home to organise wine rack whilst Vanessa Carlton ‘1000 miles’ plays in the background*

19. Checking your bank balance becomes a gleeful activity. YOU ARE LITERALLY A MILLIONAIRE. Who knew booze claimed your life savings?

20. You realise if you didn’t like tequila so much you’d probably own a flat by now, like a real grown up.

21. Sundays are bloody amazing. It’s amazing how much extra shit you get done when you’re not crying under a duvet with a gin hangover.

22. Domino’s is a distant memory. Bye Felicia.

23. February is inching ever closer, and you’re not even thinking about alcohol anymore. You’ve dreamt about it like once…twice tops

24. Could Dry February be on the cards? 2018 you would never believe it *smiles smugly*

25. Feb 1st lands on a Friday. It’s fate….

26. You’ll defo be taking it easy from now on, though. You’re a new woman.

Image: Mean Girls M.G. Films